Living to Create

During my last meeting with my advisor, I was asked to explore my creative history. The question was asked, "why do you create?" Why am I drawn to making things with my hands (as well as on the computer).  One thing I know for sure—if I didn't have the arts, I'd be depressed and lost. Why do I live to create? Why is it so important to me and why is it vital that my kids learn to love to create also?

For as long as I can remember, I've been creating and making things in some way, shape, form or fashion. I remember times in school where I didn't just write book reports or papers, I had to make something to go along with what I was trying to say. One instance in particular comes to mind. For ninth grade world history class, a report on a famous ancient war was assigned. We could be as creative as we wanted. I cannot remember the exact details, but I chose to tell the story of this war by writing a story about two young girls on opposing sides, but were very good friends. They wrote letters to each other detailing how the war affected them and those around them. I then translated the letters in Greek. Hmm. The report must have been about some ancient war in Greece then... Anyway, I remember getting an "A" because of the level of creativity.

In middle school I remember having to write and present a report on the Trail of Tears and rather than just reading a paper in front of the class, I created a "television" that illustrated pivotal scenes that lead up to that fateful event. I used a cereal box, a long roll of paper, and two dowel rods to make my story come to life. I made a scroll with my original illustrations and ran it through the box. The scenes "advanced" while I read my report. If I can find a visual example, I'll add it. But one of my crown jewels of creativity was my sixth grade book report on How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell. I created a 3D boy out of construction paper sitting in his desk, ready to devour his slimy meal. I then read the scene from the book as part of my report.

There are countless other times when I chose to create visuals/art, and in each instance, I can recall the feeling that I had to create something. To this day, I sketch out my ideas to visually communicate. It's not enough to just write. I have to make something. So, why do I make? What is this insatiable urge I have to make something out of nothing? And why in the heaviest time in my life with work, school, marriage and child rearing to I need to be busy with my hands?

To be honest, I've never really thought about until now. Art and creating have just always been a part of me. I took a long break from hand crafts, but when I returned to it, I was alive again. I love the smell, touch and feel of art. Once upon a time, it used to be about just the act of creating and enjoying the process. I threw my cares away when I was creating work. And frankly, as much as I love graphic design, it in a sense stole carelessness away from me. Having to care about every minute detail, being perfect an not making mistakes consumed me. Because what I did (on purpose or erroneously) affected others' livelihood. The weight of that responsibility seeped into other areas of my life and the free abandonment I once enjoyed when creating became a casualty in the war against myself.

So, now I must release myself from this perfectionist's cage. Release the prisoners I've taken. Why do I create? Why do I make?
To release and unwind
To escape to another world
To control things I feel I cannot in "real life"
To feel like I'm doing something worthwhile (validation outside of being wife, mommy, worker bee)
To please and satisfy myself
Because I can and I must
Because it's extremely personal to me
It's a spiritual connection for me—imagining how God created something out of nothing and breathed life into being.
It makes me feel FREE!
It's therapy

So there are many, many other ways I could escape. Why is creating with my hands my method of choice versus running, music, drugs, etc.? That, I really cannot answer. Maybe it is therapeutic and psychological. Maybe it's genetic (I come from a long line of makers). Maybe it's predestined for me. Art and creating has always been there for me.  Perhaps it's all of the above and more.

The next few entries will be an exploration into how and why we (human kind) create. I'll be uncovering the tradition and genetics of making as well as the spiritual connections and emotional healing aspect of the act of making.

But I'm curious to know. Why do YOU create? What drives you to make or repurpose things?